What's Best…for me…right now?

How self-centeredness hinders self control

By Mark Fields, Director of High School Ministries

I celebrated my birthday a couple weeks ago!  That afternoon my oldest daughter and I walked down to our mailbox in search of cards from loved ones.  After discovering some we skipped back to our house eager to read the notes… and inventory the spoils!  After our count I thought of all I could do with the money.  After settling on a new tattoo I looked in the mirror and asked myself a question, “Is that wise to do right now?”.  I instantly refocused on a broader wiser use of the money.  Simply asking the questions broadened my perspective and “Self Control” was a natural outflow.

Self control sounds like a self initiated quality that we can muster up if we try hard enough, but this is not what Paul had in mind in Galatians 5.  Paul was writing to a Greek influenced culture that emphasized the highest achievement of man as “egkrateia” the Greek word for self mastery.  A better word for us to use when we think about this idea of having control over our self as a product of following Christ and submitting to the Holy Spirit would be “temperance”.  As we follow Christ our lives transition from aimless self centered pursuits toward a Gospel motivated others focus that gives us purpose beyond ourselves.  

Having a broader picture of what is best helps us to say yes to what’s best, rather than settle for what is best, for me, right now.  It’s easier to decline unhealthy natural impulses when we think about how they affect our spouses, children, family, and friends. 

Procrastination, food, media input, schedules, sexual urges, gossip, language, self medication through self harm, comparenoia are all ways we are tempted to indulge unhealthy urges that only benefit us.  And aren’t we aware of how giving in one time can lead to addiction.  A poignant picture of how self-indulgence can transform Godly character can be found in the life of King David.

David was a valiant King whose indulgences transformed a warrior into a home wrecker.  1st Samuel 16 through 2 Samuel 11 describes the rise of a man whose fierce faith in God landed him the largest leadership role in his country.  These passages also describe the small compromises and indulgences that led this fearless warrior King to avoid the very expertise that garnered the total trust of his nation.  He sat on his couch during war time.  While in his penthouse suite he noticed a beautiful woman bathing on her rooftop and made a decision that would change the destiny of his family.  He called for her and indulged his desires, so initiating his decline as King.  What would have happened if he had taken a moment to ask himself “Is this wise to do right now?”.

The Holy Spirit cultivates in us a purposeful, Gospel centered, and others focused posture of temperance.  The Holy Spirit will reveal to us when we are most vulnerable to give in to temptation and teach us how our decisions can serve others.  The Spirit actually frees us from self centeredness and gives us purpose and focus beyond ourselves.  This transforms us from an impulsive self centered way of living and produces a Spirit led sense of self control.

Activity:  What is one area of indulgence that you would like to see change?  Share it with your family. Discuss ways you can be wiser and pray as a family.