It is the best to know God, for He is Love.
When I was young in China, I did not know God. Like many Chinese at that time, I naively thought that money would help me gain honor, success, respect, and reputation in society. I thought money would help me to find “true love” and to maintain faithfulness in marriage. It was so easy for people to fall into that trap, because we were constantly reminded of the importance of materialism in the Marxist ideological sense, which is “material base determines the superstructure.” Many years later, my experience has revealed to me that money is not the “master key for happiness.” In fact, it not only failed to bring me the joy and happiness I longed for, but it brought me so many troubles and lies, which were destructive to my life. It made me feel that life was an unending suffering and annoyance. I began to doubt whether the true values of respect, loyalty, and honesty between people ever existed. I wished for soulful communications with my husband that would be based on a deep mutual understanding and care. I also hoped that my marriage would bring me the strong support I longed for, no matter “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer,” but sadly it didn’t. My friends and co-workers all laughed at my ideas of marriage, they said to me: “Weilin, are you crazy? Your idea of true love is day-dreaming! It doesn’t exist in real life!”
In my disappointment and frustration, God led me to connect with Him for the first time. In 1992, I had the opportunity to visit Jerusalem, because of my work. That was the first time I heard about God - at that time, I had no knowledge about this God before me,
I did not know the relationship of the Father God and The son Jesus Christ, and I did not know the Holy Spirit, so I knew not to quickly call out in His name. In front of Jerusalem’s Wailing Wall, I wrote a letter, my first letter to this God whom I did not even know by name. Though I forgot the details of my letter, I still remember how I asked desperately for peace, joy, and wealth just like those people who worship idols. But when I got back to China, I continued living in darkness and didn’t know God. However, as I spent days after days and constantly felt that I was living in lies, while chasing after material wealth, all I found was disappointment. But God did not let me slip away from Him.
In 1996, I had my second chance to visit Jerusalem. Because I still did not know God, I wrote a second letter to Him, asking the same things as in my first letter without addressing His name. Then I went back to China again and my heart still found no comfort. My heart was filled with a sense of loss, and was afraid of losing something important in the near future. I found it extremely tiresome competing with other people for material possessions. I tried to be good and strived to live my life according to “good moral standards,” but in such a society that relied heavily on material gains, all the values are twisted. I tried to read the Bible hoping to find some comfort, but the book seemed full of heavenly symbols and secrets. It was so mysterious to me that I could not understand anything, so I gave up reading.
In May 1999, I had my third chance of visiting Jerusalem. Before I gave my third letter to God, my friends who were with me warned me, they said: “Weilin, be careful, this God does not care about us. He is the Western people’s God and He only cares about them. Maybe you will offend some spirits by worshipping Him.” I did not even bother to listen to them and I did not know where I got the courage but I said, “Don’t you threaten me, let me worship Him!”
This time, God really opened His gate of love and abundance, and His work was miraculous. My sister who came to the US in 1989 finally came to know Christ after ten years. In the summer of 1999, she called me from overseas and told me about the Gospel. I only remembered, at last when she asked me whether I wanted to believe this Almighty God who created the heaven and earth, I answered, “Yes, I will” without any hesitation. I asked my sister how could I come to know Him? She suggested that
I read the Bible. Hoping to find the “true love” I always longed for, I opened the Bible and in two months, I read the whole Bible. This time the book opened up to me. God had opened my heart, my eyes, and my ears and helped me understand His love and grace.
During this period of searching in the most marvelous way, God sent me a wonderful Christian couple, Jim and Judy Abbott. The couple had a Telecom company in America and planned to open up a branch in Beijing. They were looking for office assistants, and I ended up working for them. Gradually, we opened up to each other and they showed me the real meaning of soulful communication and prayer. When they came to China the second time, I met them in a hotel, and they heard my stories and concerns. They gave me a hearty embrace, and Judy held my hand tightly and said to me: “Weilin, your sorrow is our sorrow, and your happiness is our happiness!” I could hardly believe what I heard; I had never had such strong support emotionally from my family, let alone from other people. Yet, this couple which I only knew a few months could be so warm and caring. I was so moved and cried very hard. For the first time I truly felt the power of this God I encountered in Jerusalem.
After I truly came to know God, I found this exact verse in the Bible: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” After so many years of searching, God’s words have answered my questions, and God’s love has brought real comfort to my heart. My suffering, my joys, my tears, and my laughter He gathered. He has not rejected my prayer. Through Judy and Jim, I have come to know the true meaning and origin of love. Today, I am very grateful to be a member of our big church family. In this church family, I was able to endure during my difficult time and also enjoy my happy time. From my communications with couples like Richard and Lois Kasten, Bill and Jeanne Mead, and Peter and Carol Schaller, I feel God’s support, love, care and encouragement. I also participated in Bob and Sue Sloats’ and John and Debbie Isenbergs’ small group Bible study and Berean’s Class fellowship group. During these times of fellowship study, I have come to know God more deeply. Life is by no means an easy journey, and I believe that God is faithful, and if we “ask and it will be given to us, seek and we will find, knock and the door will be opened to us” (Matthew 7:7). I believe that I have finally found the right path to life through Jesus Christ.