A key lesson we’ve learned in our marriage: to have a stronger marriage, find a couple further down the road of life, and initiate a relationship with them!
Although there were lots of positive aspects to our marriage, about 4 years ago we sensed our relationship wasn’t all it could be. Just like any other marriage we had our set of issues and challenges. We had differences in our personalities and styles, and in how we managed conflict and made decisions. Some of the qualities that were stimulating and even endearing when we dated, had, over time, become irritants. The “baggage” we each brought from our past was having a negative impact.
We did know a couple of key principles that Scripture teaches:
--God has good pleasing and perfect plans for our marriage, but we’re not always lined up with His plans
--there is a enemy that wants to destroy our marriage, and that enemy is not our spouse! Satan wants to use our natural human tendencies to rally us against each other and tear our marriages and families apart.
Although we tried, we found we weren’t able to “fix” the situation ourselves. So, we decided to reach out to Lake Avenue Church’s Marriage Ministries to see what resources were available to help make our marriage all that it could be. We were matched with a couple that truly became mentors and coaches to us.
From periodic meetings that included dialogue, review of a curriculum and hearing the journey of our mentor couple, we learned challenges are a normal part of marriage, and that there are skills that can be learned and used to successfully navigate those challenges. We came to understand we needed both a strong relationship with the Lord, and tools and perspective to to manage our differences. In fact, growing to understand our differences through our daily normal conflicts allowed us to experience a deeper intimacy with each other.
Within a year we had a much more fulfilling and Christ-centered marriage, and today our marriage is stronger than it has ever been!
We felt so strongly about the value of this relationship with our mentor couple, that we wanted to share the message widely, so we joined the leadership team for LAC’s marriage ministries. We added to the work that was already being done, and today we have 25 trained couples available to serve as mentors and coaches.
Whatever age and stage your marriage, if you want to have an even more fulfilling Christ-centered marriage, ask LAC’s marriage ministries to match you with a couple further down the road. They will listen to you, support and encourage you, pray for you and share skills and perspectives with you.