Family Devotional

Family Devotional 11/14-11/15

What's Best…for me…right now?

How self-centeredness hinders self control

By Mark Fields, Director of High School Ministries

I celebrated my birthday a couple weeks ago!  That afternoon my oldest daughter and I walked down to our mailbox in search of cards from loved ones.  After discovering some we skipped back to our house eager to read the notes… and inventory the spoils!  After our count I thought of all I could do with the money.  After settling on a new tattoo I looked in the mirror and asked myself a question, “Is that wise to do right now?”.  I instantly refocused on a broader wiser use of the money.  Simply asking the questions broadened my perspective and “Self Control” was a natural outflow.

Self control sounds like a self initiated quality that we can muster up if we try hard enough, but this is not what Paul had in mind in Galatians 5.  Paul was writing to a Greek influenced culture that emphasized the highest achievement of man as “egkrateia” the Greek word for self mastery.  A better word for us to use when we think about this idea of having control over our self as a product of following Christ and submitting to the Holy Spirit would be “temperance”.  As we follow Christ our lives transition from aimless self centered pursuits toward a Gospel motivated others focus that gives us purpose beyond ourselves.  

Having a broader picture of what is best helps us to say yes to what’s best, rather than settle for what is best, for me, right now.  It’s easier to decline unhealthy natural impulses when we think about how they affect our spouses, children, family, and friends. 

Procrastination, food, media input, schedules, sexual urges, gossip, language, self medication through self harm, comparenoia are all ways we are tempted to indulge unhealthy urges that only benefit us.  And aren’t we aware of how giving in one time can lead to addiction.  A poignant picture of how self-indulgence can transform Godly character can be found in the life of King David.

David was a valiant King whose indulgences transformed a warrior into a home wrecker.  1st Samuel 16 through 2 Samuel 11 describes the rise of a man whose fierce faith in God landed him the largest leadership role in his country.  These passages also describe the small compromises and indulgences that led this fearless warrior King to avoid the very expertise that garnered the total trust of his nation.  He sat on his couch during war time.  While in his penthouse suite he noticed a beautiful woman bathing on her rooftop and made a decision that would change the destiny of his family.  He called for her and indulged his desires, so initiating his decline as King.  What would have happened if he had taken a moment to ask himself “Is this wise to do right now?”.

The Holy Spirit cultivates in us a purposeful, Gospel centered, and others focused posture of temperance.  The Holy Spirit will reveal to us when we are most vulnerable to give in to temptation and teach us how our decisions can serve others.  The Spirit actually frees us from self centeredness and gives us purpose and focus beyond ourselves.  This transforms us from an impulsive self centered way of living and produces a Spirit led sense of self control.

Activity:  What is one area of indulgence that you would like to see change?  Share it with your family. Discuss ways you can be wiser and pray as a family.

Small Group Resources

Fruit of the Spirit – Self-Control

Print Week 9 Synced Qs

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 Video Questions

• How did self-control show up in the story from the video?
• How was this self-control the result of being connected to the Spirit?

Self-control is the ability to absorb what life throws at us without lashing out or giving in.

Scripture

Read Matthew 4.1-11:

1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” 4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” 5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’” 7 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” 8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” 10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” 11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

• How did Jesus demonstrate self-control in this passage? How did his knowledge of the Scriptures help?
• What can you learn about how to deal with real temptation from reading this passage? Where does self-control fit in?

General Questions

• Does authentic worship require self-control? In what ways?
• How does being connected intimately with God help us be more self-controlled? How can we become more intimately connected with God?
• How does a lack of self-control hurt Christian community?
• How does the consistent demonstration of self-control help foster and develop Christian community?
• How does self-control impact the way people in the real world see us and Jesus whom we represent?
• How can we be self-controlled without being perceived as stuck up and holier than thou?

Challenge

What sorts of things, places, and people really push your buttons? Spend this week praying about this. Ask God to teach you how not to lash out or simply to give in. Ask someone within this group to hold you accountable for this aspect of your self-control.

Prayer

Father, our deepest fleshly desire is to have control of ourselves, our futures, and our lives. We certainly don’t want to hand control over to you! And we confess that being self-controlled in the ways you ask us to feels more like you have control of our lives than we do. And we also confess that this is a good thing! All we do with our lives is mess them up! And how do you respond? You reach out to us again and again and again. Thank you! So, we beg you Father to please make us responsive to the Spirit. In so doing you will grant us the self-control that only comes from you. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.